Facing my devil sent demons

I started 2nd year of university, it has been full-on.
I started planning a wedding, It has been intense.
I continued to push robotics in construction.... what feels like, the business into the ground.

A vicious circle which has led me to fall behind on everything. To the point where I was rolling in the bitter feeling of self-pity. I have been here before, but it's hard to remember I have been here. Plenty of time.

The other day, I was so sad... I questioned everything I have done.  ImposterSyndrome101.

Every time this has happened, I learnt to shred my stress and repeatedly tell me that, I forgive myself and it's time to grow.

Being happy will cost me nothing but keeping me healthier, more fulfilled, attract positive relationships.

I also agree I needed time to process and to learn through self-pity, I believe it is an important and a required feeling to go through. However, spending too much time in this can be toxic. Costing MORE, and has 100% lead me to the path of serious illnesses. My mental, emotional, and physical health has been affected by this.

I stopped doing everything I love.

I wish there was someone I could go through this within the internet stratosphere, someone not in my circle. I enjoy the positivity they give me all the time. It makes me feel happy, a shot of dopamine. Temporary candlelight within this dark place.

It is a strange place to be... when you want to confide in a stranger than the one you love the most.

However, when I spoke to her about this yesterday, I feel the most motivated I have done so in months.

Let me get to the point and not beat around the bush. There is a simple phrase which explains all of this:

My mental well-being.

Something I never thought I would be affected by, oh boy was I wrong. I am lucky to have access to mental well-being support provided by the City, University of London and amazing people around me.

I also know this is not the case for everyone.

I will be sharing my journey here and I hope it goes in the right direction. Please feel free to reach out to me if you are feeling the same way. Drop me an e-mail at mousuf@gdnintel.com, I am always here on the internet stratosphere.

I will also be creating a 'coffee & coding workshop', I am not a mental health expert but coding can be soothing and learning computer science can be an amazing way to come out of a bad place.

Follow here for dates: https://fb.me/MentalHealthCodeOut

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